A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and blue? yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops