Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...