A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

anti jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops