whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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