Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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have safe sex

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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A midget walked under a bar.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops