Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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