Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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My name is Harry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops