Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

thumb_up thumb_down -19

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops