When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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-knock knock! -doors open

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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