Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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