A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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