question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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