Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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your social life.

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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