What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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diarrhea.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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baloney sandwich

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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