What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Your mums a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Ebola

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops