Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roy g biv

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -29

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops