Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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penis?

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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What do black people eat? Food.

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops