Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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FUCK THE JEWS

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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women sports....

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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an dislexik nam rwote hits

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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