what is long black and smelly the welfare line

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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