Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

thumb_up thumb_down +34

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops