A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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