Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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no really what are ur names?

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Women's Rights Movement

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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