You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops