a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops