Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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shut up kobe!

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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