whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops