Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

Ain't idn't a word.

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

Cancer.

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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