What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

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Microwave

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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Female Orgasms

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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