Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Agent 47.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Dakota Fanning

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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