yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Stop procrastinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops