A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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I regret everything.....

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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