What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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ur mum

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops