what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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