Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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boner

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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