why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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my egg roll

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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these are shit

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Donkey lips

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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