Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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darude- sandstorm

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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I am very humble.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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