What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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Your mom is so nice.

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Bumsniffer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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