- Anti Joke

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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