What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

how did the man with the gun die? obesity

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

knock knock whos their a person

What did david give back? Nothing.

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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