Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

Jacob Edwards has friends.

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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