Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You suck big fat slobber

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What killed the name cool? Coolio

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops