Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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Bad grammers.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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