Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Today is March 22.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops