A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Anthony sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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