How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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