Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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