What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

No your aunties a joke

Men's rights

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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