What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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My penis is big... not.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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National security?

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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Charlie Sheen

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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