Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Justin Bieber

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Obama

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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