A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Stop procrastinating.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops