Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops