Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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BOTTOM!!!

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops