- Anti Joke

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

My kids are mistakes.

Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

in soviet russia, cow milks you

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.