What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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